Kris Colvin

Weighty Issues

I found an interesting video with some new ab moves I had never seen before, which I planned to post here (and will - it’s below.) But then I also found another video which makes me sad, because I relate to this talk show host all too well (in terms of her daily battle over what to eat.)

I have often mentioned I have gained weight since moving to Kansas from not working out and eating totally differently than I did when single in Texas. So for several months now I have been working out, eating tons better, being more rigorous, cutting out things, running, etc. And I think I have lost a whopping two pounds or something like that. On a bad day, this drives me INSANE. I am the kind of person who MUST get positive feedback or results or I want to give up. Yet obviously, getting back in shape at 44 is different than it was when I was 40 or younger, or maybe I am cursed or something. On a bad day it feels like it.

Most days, I know I have to keep trying, keep doing the right things, and I scold myself internally for forgetting I had banned tortilla chips from my person and eating them when out with people at a restaurant. This is just a never, ever ending battle. What gets to me, watching Wendy Williams here, is when she says “I wake up every morning and think about what I have to dodge that day, what am I going to eat…” (that won’t harm my efforts.) I do that too. Every bloody day. It is so old.

I get so tired of this being my main focus in life: my own self and what I am going to eat or do that day to burn off what I eat. I have been maintaining, on fewer calories than some people eat normally - my average is about 1350. I need to get it down to 1200, or even 1000 to break this plateau, but can I do that and account for going out somewhere to something I am obligated to, or needing to work all day because I am behind… these are the thoughts on my mind at all times. Can I eat oatmeal? All I have is instant at the office and it has sugar, but I am tired of the scrambled egg in microwave and on the other hand oatmeal is supposedly good for you. Can I eat this tv dinner with pasta in it and some freshly streamed veggies or is that too heinous? Yes, I know it’s loaded with sodium but I don’t have time to cook and take food to work always and it’s low calorie and convenient, and in the freezer at work. Should I eat only salad for lunch? Lots of celebs eat salads but as many eat wraps or a turkey sandwich… do I really have to cut out all bread? Should I only eat tortillas? Why do I feel poufy when I don’t seem to have gained? Is it the margarita I had last night? I should really cut out all alcohol, all bread except for tortillas and tortilla chips for the foreseeable future. But the bread I have been eating is 100 calorie, whole wheat - why isn’t that okay? Maybe I should just give up and try to find time to exercise more. But I can’t - I always want to and I miss the second or third round of exercise I have planned because of stupid work. Why did I not have the foresight to become independently wealthy or marry someone who is so I could play tennis and shop all day, which would in itself burn calories?

AGGGGGHHH. STOP. SHUT UP & GET READY FOR WORK!!!!!!

Everyday, this is the running dialogue. I am so tired of it. I feel for Wendy Williams and what she experiences because I do too. I see this woman with her 12-pack of insane abs and think, “Wow. She scares me a bit, but I admire her dedication to rock hard fitness and perfection.” And then I have to get back to work. How am I EVER going to have the time I need to work on myself AND do my work???? It’s just so hard.

But I will keep on slugging away at it. I feel better when I work out. Lately I like the running, though I NEVER thought I would. I do feel better when I eat a certain way (Body for Life.) And I want to be ever cuter in cute clothes. I am a clotheshorse and that’s all there is to it. So maybe this Ab Lady will help.

I am starting a new boot camp today as my old one ended evening classes this week. I’m excited - it is four blocks from my office and they love kettlebells - I have always wanted to do more with kettlebells. This man below is one of the instructors. 

He seems SO cool. Thank heaven, for inspiration to keep doing what I know I need to be doing, even though I sometimes feel discouraged because I want faster, more obvious gratification.

This is just how my day goes - the ups and the downs of being me. :-)

Tank Top Arms

This video looks pretty effective and tough, is only 20 minutes long and is focused on arms and shoulders. Cindy Whitmarsh, the instructor, says to do this video 2-3 times per week. I’m going to try it!